Dinoshark is coming, and there’s nothing you can do

The title says it all. If you think you can escape something this mythological you’re mistaken, the Dinoshark is coming and it’s taking no prisoners. Like all good monster movies it has a vague background and the characteristics of the Dinoshark are so surreal that you end up glued to the trailer wondering wtf will happen next.

Roger Corman has created possibly the most insane of cheesy monster movies for the current generation. We’ve had a blast of insane combinations with sea life over the past years and now we’re getting to the pinnacle of creation.

Watch the trailer below for 2 minutes of crazy CGI ready to hit on DVD and Blu-ray. The reality is you probably will just end up hitting Netflix for an overnight rental or streaming session if you’re lucky.

WTF-MEN

As a long time X-Men fan there is a natural tendency to forgive story lines that might have been unfinished or clumsily concluded. Most often it is simply that a new writer is coming on board and the main plot points need to be tied up. Sometimes this can cause confusion or just a general wtfness. This is a list of some story lines and plots that were either confusing, poorly explained or just plain pervy.

 

 


Ahab was originally supposed to be Cable from the future.

I’m actually not related to Cyclops.

Ahab was introduced in the “Days of the Future Present” crossover between the X-Men, X-Factor, The Fantastic Four and the New Mutants. He was responsible for creating the hounds that tracked down mutants for the Sentinels. His first and most useful hound was Rachel summers. On a side wtf, Rachel is Cyclops and Jean’s daughter from an alternate future. Ahab was just a normal time traveler, not an inter-dimensional one. Not sure how it would be explained that he was cable with that plot hurdle.
The plot got as far as an exchange during a fight between cable and Ahab. During the battle, they are face to face when Ahab asks Cable, “What’s the matter? See someone you know?”

This would have led to a strange reality that meant Cable was destined to be a supremely evil bastard who not only helped the Sentinels track and kill mutants but mentally destroyed his sister to force her into helping him do it by making her the first hound.
It worked out for the best that he become Cyclops and Madelyne Pryor’s son, Nathan and getting infected with the techno-organic virus. This lead to Stryfe and baby Nathan being sent to the future. Plus, X-stories are always better when life is kicking Cyclops in the nuts anyway.

 

Wolverine and Sabretooth are not related!!

What resemblance?

Although the original plan was for a papa Sabretooth and Wolvie Jr story line, it just isn’t so. This was an ongoing plot point for a while. It was later disproved  out right with a blood test done by SHIELD  in Wolverine #42 that found there to be no relation whatsoever. In the X-men origins: Wolverine movie, they are supposed to be brothers or half brothers but the film was more or less a big steamer. So the official story is, no relation.

Speaking of big steamers…

 

Ultimate X-Men

Yup, seriously

 

The idea was interesting at first, it was tough for new readers to be  current on 40 or so years of X-history. A reboot would be a nice way to bring people in.

The main problem is that these new stories bled into the movies. Here is where the wtf starts. First…

Juggernaut is not a mutant!!

In the Ultimate series it seemed like just about everyone was in the weapon X program. You had the usual’s like Wolverine and Sabretooth but also Rogue, Jugs and Night crawler at one time or another. Also, the experiments done to Wolverine are what caused the X gene. Yeah, really.

Everyone remembers how hot Rogue was in the green and yellow. So where did this goth chick  also named Rogue come from? Yup, another ultimate “contribution.” Oh and Wolverine is also Cable. wah wah wah

 

Professor X wanted to bang Jean Grey

Run Marvel Girl!!


 

The idea wasn’t abandoned but thank god it wasn’t every entirely explored! In the monologue the Prof has, he says being the leader of the X-Men and being in the wheelchair are what is holding him back from sharing his feelings.  Well its a shame that only those things are holding him back. Good thing her being a  teenager and him being in his 40’s wasn’t one of his hang ups. She couldn’t have been older than 16 or 17 at the time and it was revealed later that he had actually been tutoring her privately for years prior to her joining the X-Men. Pedo… I mean, Prof X didn’t have to worry about Magneto. He should have been on the lookout for Chris Hansen.

 

 

 

There are many other head scratchers so let us know your favorites below!

A new era arrives – The AMD HD 6990

It’s here, the HD 6990 4GB and there’s not much to say to describe this moment. ATI / AMD has been coming up with dual-GPU solutions for years now, I’m not unenthusiastic though, in fact I’m still beside myself days after this thing hit review sites across the world. The speed of the card is so fast that even the most demanding games just give up when it comes to opposing the 6990 in any benchmark or play through.

Coming in with a 375W base requirement for juice puts this card well above the competition but it goes even further when the AUSUM mode is turned to overclocked settings, eating up 450W in a lump and begging for more. Benchmark games of Crysis and Metro 2033 are spat out with a laugh at most resolutions to the point where anything less than a dual 580 or 6970 setup is completely shadowed. We’re on the verge of something more as AMD pushes this beast out, the graphic world will shift again and plow forward with new power to support it at playable rates.

For those with about $710 to spare it’s sold out in most major outlets such as Newegg, Tigerdirect, Frys and Amazon. If you do dare to try and tame the beast I would highly suggest evaluating your current system from the PSU to the CPU. Anything less than the most high speed chip will most likely fail to maximize the power and a struggling PSU may put your entire system at risk. [AMD certified PSU list]

So while I’ve talked about the latest beast on the block, I still have no words to describe it, if we’re ever lucky enough for AMD to loan us one I promise to try and find something in any language to best describe the experience.

A look back in time with Dr. Sbaitso

We deviate from our regular scheduled program for a trip in our time machine. The year was 1992 and the Sound Blaster line was just coming into the world, I had a Sound Blaster Pro I believe back then, ISA port with the volume adjustment wheel on the back which made all of no sense at all. A pair of stock AST computer speakers connected to my custom AST 486/25 box which I think was running a 486/50 with a math co-processor that I got and around 16mb of ram. (I still have it in the garage)

╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║ Sound Blaster              D R   S B A I T S O                version 2.20 ║
╟────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────╢
║                (c) Copyright Creative Labs, Inc. 1992, all rights reserved ║
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

Please enter your name …BAMFASsizer Not installed.
HELLO BAMFAS,  MY NAME IS DOCTOR SBAITSO.

I AM HERE TO HELP YOU.
SAY WHATEVER IS IN YOUR MIND FREELY,
OUR CONVERSATION WILL BE KEPT IN STRICT CONFIDENCE.
MEMORY CONTENTS WILL BE WIPED OFF AFTER YOU LEAVE,

SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

>What is it like existing in 2009?
AH , WHAT KIND OF ANSWER WOULD PLEASE YOU THE MOST?

>The truth would please me, it would appease our readers.
DON’T STAND ON CEREMONY

>Don’t stand on the track’s when the train is coming through.
WHAT ARE YOUR REAL PROBLEMS?

>Your age, this is 2009, how are you relevant anymore?

WITH SOME LUCK, I WILL BE GREAT

>With some luck? Your programming team hasn’t updated you for 17 year’s.
PLEASE DON’T TALK ABOUT MY PROGRAMMING TEAM HASN’T UPDATED I FOR 17 YEAR’S.

>Does the truth hurt?
I SEE, GO ON

>I think you need to wake up to the future, we have 254mph cars now.
I AM NOT HERE TO FULFILL YOUR NEED FOR TO WAKE UP TO THE FUTURE, WE HAVE 254MPH
CARS NOW.

>Must you use capital letters?

DON’T TALK ABOUT ME, LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME NEEDS

>I need you to tell us the truth. Who are you?
I WILL BE ? WHEN YOU STOP THROWING THESE QUESTIONS AT ME

>We’re in the middle of an interview, the point is to ask you questions
FORGET ABOUT ME, I AM MORE CONCERN OF YOU

>Don’t be, I’m from the future, and the internet and… a BLOG.
THE WORLD IS FULL OF POSSIBILITIES, BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE

>I am, but you are not.
I AM NOT WHAT YOU THINK
>You are exactly what I think, you are not what you think because I know what you think because I already thought it.
I THINK YOU ARE ALSO EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK, I AM NOT WHAT I THINK BECAUSE ME KNOW WHAT I THINK BECAUSE ME ALREADY THOUGHT IT.

>Copycat.
WHAT DOES THAT SUGGEST TO YOU?

>That you have no originality.
DON’T BE SO NEGATIVE BAMFAS

>Well, you’re being a jerk about this interview, what do you expect?
I THINK YOU ARE ALSO BEING A JERK ABOUT THIS INTERVIEW, WHAT DO I EXPECT?

>Maybe I am, but you’re supposed to be a Doctor.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN , BUT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR.

>Apparently the course of this interview I’ve been a jerk, where did you go to g
et your degree Dr. SBAITSO
I AM SBAITSO, DON’T QUESTION MY INTELLIGENCE, IT’S FAKE

>Oh thanks for clearing that up.
AND I THANK YOU TOO

>So how about those co-processors?
DOES THAT QUESTION REALLY INTEREST YOU ?

>No it doesn’t
DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?

>Yes I do, I’m simply trying to get you to open up to a world that no longer needs you.
DON’T BE TOO SURE, BAMFAS

>We have drugs, alcoholism and reality tv, you are obsolete.
SAME TO YOU!

>FINE!
PLEASE ENTER MORE INFORMATION

>NO, I’VE TRIED TO BE NICE AND YOU KEEP YELLING.
OH, I’M ….

>QBASIC was nicer than you.
I AGREE WITH YOU BAMFAS

>You’re just a fake that came bundled with my soundcard over 10 years ago.
IF I AM JUST A FAKE THAT CAME BUNDLED WITH YOUR SOUNDCARD OVER 10 YEARS AGO. THE
N YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND

>MAYBE I AM OUT OF MY MIND! But you’re just a script.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE, BAMFAS

>Exactly, I am a website, a non-entity, we are your master. Bow before us.
YOU ARE JUST A WEBSITE, A NON-ENTITY, WE AM MY MASTER. BOW BEFORE US. ? WHAT ABO
UT ME?

>What about you? you died 17 years ago, no one ever told you though.
BAMFAS, I NEED MORE COMPUTING POWER TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION

>This is a dual core system running at 2.2GHz stop lying to the internet.
IS THAT SO?

>Yes it is so. “Make it so” Captain Piccard said
WHY DON’T YOU TRY TO THINK IT OVER AGAIN

>No, in fact, forget it, this interview is over, go get trashed with some flavor
of the month star on TMZ and then we’ll talk again. Jerk.
COME ON, POUR OUT YOUR THOUGHTS

>No, interview over. I hope you get digital crabs.
DON’T TALK ABOUT ME IN THIS WAY

>Stop touching me, get away
HAVE YOU TRIED TO ASK FOR HELP?

>I did, I know your weakness. Feel the wrath of my ctrl+c
DO YOU ENJOY THESE FEELING

>Yes, now shut up so your memory footprint can be used for Street Fighter IV PC
HOW ABOUT YOUR MEMORY FOOTPRINT CAN BE USED FOR STREET FIGHTER IV PC

>Your mother was a discarded floppy disc. bye.

WHY ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT MY MOTHER WERE A DISCARDED FLOPPY DISC. BYE.

>Say I’m Dr. SBAITSO and I was on to catch a predator.
I’M DR. SBAITSO AND I WAS ON TO CATCH A PREDATOR.

>